Me, to boyfriend: Sorry to ruin your day but Kristen Bell is pregnant.

Boyfriend: Noooooo.  Someone beat me to it!

27 Jan 2013
14 Jan 2013
GPOY: Back on Tumblr Edition A lot has happened since the last time I did one of these, or even been on Tumblr at all.  So here’s some shit…’bout mah lyfe. + I moved to a new apartment in Stamford.  Back to Stamford, I guess. I live in a cute studio all by my lonesome and sure, it’s kind of small and kind of feels like a glorified dorm room sometimes but it’s MINE.  And I am responsible and pay for it all by myself and I never have to wear pants if I don’t want to and that, my friends, is a glorious GLORIOUS thing. + Blaise and I celebrated our 1-year in November which is… well, no one word really.  Just makes me smile.  He’s the best person I know and keeps me on the paths I need to go down while giving me enough room to run around like a maniac if I need to.  One year.  Feels like so much longer and so much less all at once. + School is going well and I only have a couple more classes at this point and then my first semester is OVER.  I’m so ready for it.  It’s not difficult, just tedious sometimes, and also I am lazy and get overcome by the Procrastination Monster quite often. + I am ultra super excited for Christmas this year.  I’ve completed most of my shopping and have good plans for everyone else and I’m just really excited to give out gifts and be merry & bright :D

GPOY: Back on Tumblr Edition

A lot has happened since the last time I did one of these, or even been on Tumblr at all.  So here’s some shit…’bout mah lyfe.

+ I moved to a new apartment in Stamford.  Back to Stamford, I guess. I live in a cute studio all by my lonesome and sure, it’s kind of small and kind of feels like a glorified dorm room sometimes but it’s MINE.  And I am responsible and pay for it all by myself and I never have to wear pants if I don’t want to and that, my friends, is a glorious GLORIOUS thing.

+ Blaise and I celebrated our 1-year in November which is… well, no one word really.  Just makes me smile.  He’s the best person I know and keeps me on the paths I need to go down while giving me enough room to run around like a maniac if I need to.  One year.  Feels like so much longer and so much less all at once.

+ School is going well and I only have a couple more classes at this point and then my first semester is OVER.  I’m so ready for it.  It’s not difficult, just tedious sometimes, and also I am lazy and get overcome by the Procrastination Monster quite often.

+ I am ultra super excited for Christmas this year.  I’ve completed most of my shopping and have good plans for everyone else and I’m just really excited to give out gifts and be merry & bright :D
4 Dec 2012
Two years ago I went on a first date with B.  Although I’m not sure we called it that at the time.  I remember talking about it beforehand, I guess when he first found out about it.  And him telling me how much he wanted to go, and me saying something about how it sounded “cool,” and then him asking me if I would go with him if he got tickets.  I said yes.  Of course I said yes. And I remember being so nervous. And staying at my Aunt’s and getting ready in my cousin’s old room and wondering how many dates he had gotten ready for in that room.  And I remember meeting him at his house, and waiting for the train, and shoving the cardigan I knew I would never put on into my bag and him asking, making sure, I had something to wear in case I got cold.  That seemed so important to me at the time.  That he cared if I was cold. We went to some fancy sushi place first.  The place was almost empty but so pretty inside.  We didn’t eat a lot.  I was too nervous to eat much. I don’t know what his excuse was.  Compared to the sushi dates we have now it seems so… well, it makes me laugh in a way.  At how “not ourselves” we were that first time.  But it was perfect just the same. We eventually made our way to Radio City and had great seats in the middle of the balcony.  Our tickets say “obstructed view” but it wasn’t at all.  Him, a huge Lord of the Rings fan. Me, just barely getting into it but a fan of live orchestral music all the same and, really, I was on a date with my best friend and I just couldn’t have been any happier.  And, because I’m me and the evening would not have been complete without me doing something stupid, I lean over to kiss his cheek and he thinks I’m trying to tell him something.  Turns his head too fast.  We bump heads and I feel like such a jerk.  I have to laugh at myself now.  So typical. We took the train back to his house.  It was late so we just talked in the street for a little bit.  We didn’t even kiss.  We just talked for a while and then hugged and felt that weird tension and promised to see each other soon.  I cried all the way home for so many reasons. It is, hands down, the best date I have ever been on.  I am also startled at the amount of time that has passed in what seems to be no time at all.

Two years ago I went on a first date with B.  Although I’m not sure we called it that at the time.  I remember talking about it beforehand, I guess when he first found out about it.  And him telling me how much he wanted to go, and me saying something about how it sounded “cool,” and then him asking me if I would go with him if he got tickets.  I said yes.  Of course I said yes.

And I remember being so nervous. And staying at my Aunt’s and getting ready in my cousin’s old room and wondering how many dates he had gotten ready for in that room.  And I remember meeting him at his house, and waiting for the train, and shoving the cardigan I knew I would never put on into my bag and him asking, making sure, I had something to wear in case I got cold.  That seemed so important to me at the time.  That he cared if I was cold.

We went to some fancy sushi place first.  The place was almost empty but so pretty inside.  We didn’t eat a lot.  I was too nervous to eat much. I don’t know what his excuse was.  Compared to the sushi dates we have now it seems so… well, it makes me laugh in a way.  At how “not ourselves” we were that first time.  But it was perfect just the same.

We eventually made our way to Radio City and had great seats in the middle of the balcony.  Our tickets say “obstructed view” but it wasn’t at all.  Him, a huge Lord of the Rings fan. Me, just barely getting into it but a fan of live orchestral music all the same and, really, I was on a date with my best friend and I just couldn’t have been any happier.  And, because I’m me and the evening would not have been complete without me doing something stupid, I lean over to kiss his cheek and he thinks I’m trying to tell him something.  Turns his head too fast.  We bump heads and I feel like such a jerk.  I have to laugh at myself now.  So typical.

We took the train back to his house.  It was late so we just talked in the street for a little bit.  We didn’t even kiss.  We just talked for a while and then hugged and felt that weird tension and promised to see each other soon.  I cried all the way home for so many reasons.

It is, hands down, the best date I have ever been on.  I am also startled at the amount of time that has passed in what seems to be no time at all.
1 note
10 Oct 2012

Semper Fidelis

My grandfather passed away last Saturday, the 22nd.  I feel like it hasn’t hit me completely yet.  The weekend and the days that followed are all a blur of tears and flowers and too many people touching me.  Hugging me.  Telling me they’re sorry.  People I didn’t even know…

There are so many things to say in his honor and yet I don’t have the words.  I simply don’t.  I will never hear bagpipes the same way ever again.  I’ll never look at an American flag with the same eyes.  I fear my heart will break a little every time I see my grandma from this point forward.

We watched him waste away over the past 6 years as he suffered from Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.  We witnessed him, slowly but surely, forget the names (and eventually the faces) of everyone who loved him most.  In that way, I’ve been mourning him for a long time.  Always fearing that I existed in his memory as someone who never came to see him simply because he couldn’t recognize me.  That broke my heart.  It still does.

The last coherent thing he ever said to me, long after he had forgotten who I was, was “Where’s your jacket?”  Like he knew I was someone to look after, but wasn’t quite sure where I came from.  Eventually though the sense all ran out, and the words did too after some time.

I wish that everyone in the world would take a page from his book.  Make your word impeccable.  Put your family first and protect them fiercely.  Be faithful and loving until your very last breath.  Treat everyone you meet with kindness and respect and help everyone you can, even those who can do nothing for you.  Especially those who can do nothing for you.  I have never met anyone with as strong a moral compass as his.  Not a soul.  

To me, he has always been the epitome of what a man should be, and I think it will always stay that way.  He was a hero and a gentleman and I can only hope to live my life with the kind of strength, humility, and humor he’d be proud of.

Love you Gramps, and I promise to never drive while angry or upset.  To aim for the arrows when I bowl, feed the birds, and to “be happy.”  See you when I get glasses.

1 note
27 Sep 2012
GPOY: Too Little Time My life is solidifying itself and moving forward at an alarming rate and for once I actually feel like I am actively choosing it.  Usually I feel dragged along by it.  Ripped from the comfort of familiarity and thrown into the next phase without at all being ready for it.  But right now I am SO ready for it. Anxious for it, even.  I want it all and I want it now and I can feel myself starting to trip over my own feet trying to get there too fast. I started school and it’s going well.  It’s interesting and makes me excited about so many (admittedly nerdy) things.  I need to be more organized about how I am completing the coursework though. I feel a little frazzled but I think it has to do with the difficulty I had in procuring the texts. Now that I have everything, it should be easier to get things done properly. My relationship suffered a small hiccup that I find myself being oddly grateful for. It somehow took a turn into “serious shit” territory rather quickly and it’s going swimmingly.  I took a trip with his family this past weekend to go camping at my parents’ place.  Which means, yes, our parents met each other. It went better than expected and proved most of my worrying and crippling anxiety pretty useless. I was also reminded why my relationship with my parents is so much better when I’m at a distance.  And through the lens of my parents and my family, I realized how close to his I actually am. I feel motivated. Rejuvenated. Inspired and energetic.  I want to do so many things and yet I can’t find the time.  I want to supplement my education with more, but there is so much!  I want to find things to read and to learn that will give me a better understanding about how these concepts act in the real world.  I want more reading, in general.  I want more music and museums.  I want to go to more AMNH lectures.  I want to vacation with B.  I want to start a professional blog.  I want to write more.  I want to keep up with my cleaning and organizing streak.  I just want a well-adjusted, settled, honest-to-God adult life in which I can relax and move forward in continuously.  I’m on the brink of it and I just want it all right now.

GPOY: Too Little Time

My life is solidifying itself and moving forward at an alarming rate and for once I actually feel like I am actively choosing it.  Usually I feel dragged along by it.  Ripped from the comfort of familiarity and thrown into the next phase without at all being ready for it.  But right now I am SO ready for it. Anxious for it, even.  I want it all and I want it now and I can feel myself starting to trip over my own feet trying to get there too fast.

I started school and it’s going well.  It’s interesting and makes me excited about so many (admittedly nerdy) things.  I need to be more organized about how I am completing the coursework though. I feel a little frazzled but I think it has to do with the difficulty I had in procuring the texts. Now that I have everything, it should be easier to get things done properly.

My relationship suffered a small hiccup that I find myself being oddly grateful for. It somehow took a turn into “serious shit” territory rather quickly and it’s going swimmingly.  I took a trip with his family this past weekend to go camping at my parents’ place.  Which means, yes, our parents met each other. It went better than expected and proved most of my worrying and crippling anxiety pretty useless. I was also reminded why my relationship with my parents is so much better when I’m at a distance.  And through the lens of my parents and my family, I realized how close to his I actually am.

I feel motivated. Rejuvenated. Inspired and energetic.  I want to do so many things and yet I can’t find the time.  I want to supplement my education with more, but there is so much!  I want to find things to read and to learn that will give me a better understanding about how these concepts act in the real world.  I want more reading, in general.  I want more music and museums.  I want to go to more AMNH lectures.  I want to vacation with B.  I want to start a professional blog.  I want to write more.  I want to keep up with my cleaning and organizing streak.  I just want a well-adjusted, settled, honest-to-God adult life in which I can relax and move forward in continuously.  I’m on the brink of it and I just want it all right now.
2 notes
11 Sep 2012
GPOY: Stressed Edition I have been overly preoccupied with getting financially prepared for grad school, which starts in a month, and it’s wearing on me.  I can’t wait to be done with all this so I can just sit back and be excited about it. I have a wedding to go to this weekend with Blaise.  An opportunity to get dressed up and see my boyfriend in a suit?  YES, PLEASE.  I will be wearing a fancy ass Nicole Miller dress that was gifted to me and fits like a glove.  Can’t wait!

GPOY: Stressed Edition

I have been overly preoccupied with getting financially prepared for grad school, which starts in a month, and it’s wearing on me.  I can’t wait to be done with all this so I can just sit back and be excited about it.

I have a wedding to go to this weekend with Blaise.  An opportunity to get dressed up and see my boyfriend in a suit?  YES, PLEASE.  I will be wearing a fancy ass Nicole Miller dress that was gifted to me and fits like a glove.  Can’t wait!
1 note
31 Jul 2012

For the past 2 months, probably more, the lightbulbs in my light fixture in my room have been dead.  I was forced to use a table lamp which isn’t so bad, except that I only have ONE working outlet over there and, once summer came, I was forced to give up the light in lieu of a fan so that I wouldn’t sweat to death.

I have essentially spent the past 2 months in darkness.  At night, so I don’t go crazy, I turn on my bathroom light and leave the door open but this, at best, gives the room a kind of eery glow that makes everything barely visible.  I have never relied so heavily upon laptop-monitor-glow in my life.

Guys…I just changed my lightbulbs.  Finally.  This is a huge achievement and I am proud.

….Actually this is truly pathetic but WHATEVER. I CAN SEE.

24 Jul 2012

GPOY: Real Pictures Edition

Last week I played model for a photographer friend. He took almost 1600 photos by the end of it.  Here’s a small sampling of what he finally sent me (nowhere near the full amount).  It took me close to forever to get used to the camera being around but I did get used to it eventually.

It’s an extremely strange thing to see so many pictures of your own face and body, in so much detail, from so many angles. I’m glad to have nice pictures to capture the person I was at 25.  I think I’ll be glad to have them in the future.
2 notes
16 Jul 2012
GPOY: Contemplative Edition So I’m sitting here, pondering what my life was like exactly one year ago, and I have decided that my life now is infinitely better.  I’m astonished at how different it is, really.  How much better it is.  It’s crazy what a year can do and I hope I can say the same exact thing next year. In other news, I have traffic court tomorrow morning for a ridiculous ticket I got back in January. Fuck the po-lice!!  No, but really, they better dismiss this or I’m going to be really upset.

GPOY: Contemplative Edition

So I’m sitting here, pondering what my life was like exactly one year ago, and I have decided that my life now is infinitely better.  I’m astonished at how different it is, really.  How much better it is.  It’s crazy what a year can do and I hope I can say the same exact thing next year.

In other news, I have traffic court tomorrow morning for a ridiculous ticket I got back in January. Fuck the po-lice!!  No, but really, they better dismiss this or I’m going to be really upset.
1 note
10 Jul 2012